IN PURSUIT OF TRUTH AND TRUE FREEDOM 

by Julia Ahtijainen

Since its premiere in 1950, the classic Akira Kurosawa's film "Rashomon" has symbolised the subjectivity of truth. The movie illustrates that our surroundings often shape our perspectives. However, when we try to frame or identify ourselves, the frame eventually becomes too small. Recent events in my professional and personal life made me see my path from another perspective and understand that everything is tied together in one big truth no one can escape.

PROFESSIONAL FREEDOM
My career began as a copywriter, but over time, I felt the need to plan and lead projects. As a result, I started to take on a series of different tasks and roles. Curiosity led me to analyse different leadership types and the motivations behind them. This interpersonal and holistic approach allowed me to bridge the gap between personal and business ethics, emphasising values and beliefs, respectful communication, and a genuine appreciation of everything. I began to attract creative people, unconventional projects and brands I found inspiring. I worked closely with the founders of these brands, serving as a bridge between the departments, managing the rational and irrational processes that came up, as well as cultural differences and shepherding out-of-the-box ideas. I understood early the importance and the power of authenticity, and the name I used for my business – THE FRANKLY SPEAKING – reflected this.

Even though I have worked as a freelancer for most of my professional life and thus developed discipline and immense planning skills, I have come up against a wide array of opinions about freelancing. A person who identifies as a freelancer is perceived as "being jobless", "a hopeless multi-tasker", "an overachiever", "a small entrepreneur", or "an expert consultant". These stereotypes often limited my potential; meanwhile, the most important part was "being free". History supports this if one examines the origin of the term – the earliest written evidence for 'freelance' is seen in Sir Walter Scott's “Ivanhoe”, in which a lord refers to his paid army of 'free lances'. When freelance first came into use in the early 1800s, it referred to a medieval mercenary who would fight for whichever nation or person paid them the most. In my case, I would develop the best strategies and offer the best services with additional inputs to whichever brand or client sought me out. The journey towards embracing a freelance mindset wasn't without its struggles. However, my stubbornness and the results I achieved allowed me to overcome all obstacles and showed me that this was the perfect fit for me. 

PERSONAL FREEDOM
While I experimented with being free in my professional life, my definition of freedom was also tested in my personal life. I didn't know how to explain that the desire to "be free" didn't mean I was looking for an open relationship or could not commit. I wanted to prove everything was possible, yet I ran away whenever there was a confrontation. I was loved professionally, yet I faced judgements in my personal life. They say that everything happens for a reason, and by admitting what was going on and what I truly wanted, things started to change. I began to meet new people. With time, whenever I received feedbacks such as "You have too much personality" or "You think too much", I turned them into strengths that propelled me forward. I pushed on and did not compromise.

Without those difficulties in my personal life, I wouldn't be where I am now - happy and free. I can speak my mind, do what I want and commit to whatever and whomever I want. People who haven't been alone for some time or haven't tried freelancing don't know that this type of liberty comes with a certain level of personal responsibility and discipline. If you want to create and live in a loving partnership, sometimes it takes facing your fears, going that extra mile, or learning how to stand still and understand that here and now, just as it is, is needed for you. And it is worth it. It's worth it because, first and foremost, you will find your true self.

TURNING POINT AND NEW INSPIRATIONS
I have found motivation and inspiration of late from sources such as Bernardine Evaristo's "Manifesto: On Never Giving Up", Rick Rubin's "The Creative Act: A Way of Being" books and "The Andy Warhol Diaries" Netflix documentary series. Together with recent events in my life, I have been able to redefine creativity in my business and personal life and rediscover the freelancer's mindset.

After dealing with a manipulative and unethical leadership style at work and experiencing a relationship fueled by judging, I arrived at a turning point. I learned another way of being a legitimate 'free lance'. No matter how bad you feel physically, emotionally or financially, only you can uplift yourself in order to reach the next level of success.

Remaining committed to my authentic self was a challenge that led to a discovery. Navigating this period of changes required individual time to reflect, ignoring my previous social life and habits, ignoring my family and friends, and dedicating time to be brutally honest with myself. During this period, I realised that our nature is inherently creative, and true freedom lies in self-expression. This realisation led to new partnerships that nurtured new freedom and trust. Evolution became a constant, fueled by the desire to overcome challenges and embrace change.

We need obstacles in life to become resilient and unstoppable. Life presents us with challenges. It's never a smooth ride for anyone, and while nobody wants to struggle, it's the only way to build our character. I learned that lying to yourself is a highway to hell. I cut off relationships with people who were small-minded and tended to gossip, with people who compared themselves to others and with people who felt superior and judged others. I set my boundaries, even if they sometimes resulted in me being labelled unstable. As I wasn't dependent on someone while going through this, I soon realised everything would be okay. Life awarded me with situations and people who understood and supported my process of searching and burning, running and arguing, and eventually succeeding and dancing.

FEEDBACK, SELF-BELIEF AND DEFINING “HOME”
Not worrying about others' opinions was challenging because I lived off feedback. I love getting feedback and have no problem giving it. Feedback, being essential for growth, must be discerned from manipulative criticism. The transformative power of feedback drives progress in both the professional and personal realms. However, staying true to yourself and having a clear vision is imperative to avoid being influenced by others' limitations.

Turning my ambitions into actions required self-belief, focus and a positive attitude. By staying resilient during the latest upheaval, I became stronger. The path forward becomes clear when purpose becomes a commitment to personal work and originality. We carry on the lessons learned as we embrace our unique ways and nurture our growth. We owe it to ourselves. With each challenge we overcome, we strengthen our commitment to our mission and celebrate the journey that transforms us into our best selves.

 The word "Rashomon" has since become synonymous with any situation where there is more than one version of what happened. It is a Japanese word that translates to "a gate in the middle of the woods." I've spent half of my summer in the woods, resetting and understanding what I want next. Adapting to new environments due to frequent moves honed my mental agility. It aligned perfectly with my journey towards true freedom. The search for a sense of home led me to embrace all the tests, making the most out of them to fuel my creativity in personal development.

Today, I can call "home" several places in the world. Home is where you are and where like-minded people surround you. Choosing the right environment as well as suitable companions is vital. Surrounding yourself with supporters of your creative flow, even in non-artistic tasks, contributes to a thriving environment where everyone can create and share. This always starts with you.

I'm not who I was yesterday, and I might be different in the future, but what matters is the decision-making in the now. Now, I am grounded in the heritage of my birthland and my experiences during the last decade spent abroad. Now is my focus and my resource. My true identity, I have seen, is linked to being constructive and building things up. It is constantly in motion and evolving.

Now, I understand that personal evolution is invisible.
Our mission is already accomplished when we live by creating what we love.