What’s love got to do… the word, the action, the meaning.
Sketching the story of Love.

Each story that’s remembered signifies something noteworthy that has been felt and comprehended, whether it was exceptional or of the everyday. The stories we tell represent actually bigger things, much bigger things than they seem to be… It is the empathy, the bond inbetween, it is sharing and caring, it is the connections between people.

The quality of (this) story is second-rate concern so long as the audience empathize with the person it is about or care for the one telling it. I hope you do care dear reader, because this story is simple, frank and simple. And the telling of it creates a shared experience.

I loved a person once.
I said it out loud only once, but I meant it each time I looked into his clear blue eyes, and I felt it in every thought and in every action…
In every touch, in every glance, in the warm wind, in the sunshine and the raindrops, the reflections in the seawater, and the shadows in the woods…

I met that person randomly, very randomly.
Warm, friendly, open and frank we were from the very beginning. We walked, we talked, we drank some tea. We walked a mile and more, we talked for hours, whole day… and whole night… sometimes both, in a row. We drank tons of tea, we laughed a lot and in many ways… and we cried together, frankly.

I guess that Ann Landers was right when defining love. She said, that love is a friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.


The beloved person…
It’s the person who makes you feel beautiful. The time spent together is the time when everything makes sense, absolutely everything – the past, the present and the future. It’s the feeling of certainty and unconditionality, it’s the deep breath of fresh air and the freedom.  It is everything.

It’s the feeling when you want to shout and whisper at the same time, it’s the warm dim light and the extreme sunshine inside… Like the song that goes: Sun inside me, its warm inside me, its you who make it right.

It’s the beauty of everything, different types of beauties: clear beauty, strong beauty, sad beauty, bad beauty… It’s the trust and the maximum dose of honesty, the knowing that he’s there no matter what, in good and bad. Priceless, uncomparable, real.

Being with him not only made sense and opened my eyes towards the little things and their meanings in the system, he had the ability to humanize things that weren’t considered to be alive. The sun, the air, the soil, the trees… everything was alive and so close… so powerful. Even Nelson Rockefeller noted once: “Never forget that the most powerful force on earth is love.”

But when it’s over… because of the environment, circumstances and one’s choice. It is still that beautiful feeling that is somewhere there. Dissolved in the air, in the sunny daylight, the raindrops, salt, the soil and the trees. It stays.

That deep and beautifully sad feeling, that makes you crawl around, see all the pointless buzz and dust around, pointless connections, empty words and people…
It makes sense, the world still makes sense.
It’s like living under a cold shower, neverending cold shower that keeps you sharp, keeps your senses fresh, eyes wide open, values crystal clear, enemies close, family and real friends warmly cherished. It balances and washes away the dirt. It’s a constant cold shower that keeps it all clear and simple. Simple enough to understand.
That shower a day keeps all bullshit away.

And it’s the gratitude, respect and gratitude. Fearless gratitude, raw and honest gratitude, naked truth with all the sacrifices, wounds and scars of the battles… Some lost, some won and new to come.
She’s still holding on.

You proved me that actions speak louder than words and I Thank You!

Once I loved… but I never thought that my love could be so cruel in


Written by Julia Ahtijainen